My relationship to fashion is a rocky one. Mostly due being autistic. As a kid I was extremely sensitive to the texture of clothing. If I wore something that was even slightly uncomfortable, I would get so stressed out that I felt like I was physically turning inside out. Consequently, buying me clothes was a major pain for my mother. We would have to go to multiple stores just to find a single outfit. An outfit I may only wear once because its texture and feel might change after it was washed.
Did I mention that I wasn’t diagnosed on the autism spectrum until I was 18? So my mother just thought I was being unnecessarily difficult. I got a lot of lectures about clothes and how frustrated she was about my behaviour towards my wardrobe. Add to that my hemiplegic cerebral palsy which left me unable to tie my shoes until I was nine and difficulty with zippers that lasted well into my teens.
Consequently I was a very unfashionable child. It wasn’t that I was unaware of fashion, I simply had to be completely ambivalent to it in order to be comfortable enough to function. I wore a lot of oversize t-shirts and pants with elasticized waists. Any article of clothing that was even remotely restrictive was impossible. I never wore denim or anything lacking in stretch. Basically, I wore a lot of track suits of the 80s variety.
I had so many of these. This became an issue at my Christian Preparatory High School where track suits were considered unprofessional and were against the dress code. I had about 5 outfits that were comfortable that barely passed dress code muster that I just constantly recycled. I have a much more diverse wardrobe now. I’m not sure if I have better coping skills or if they just put lycra and spandex in everything now, rendering clothing generally more comfortable (I also love the trend of tagless shirts, whoever came up with those is a genius who should be sainted). One article of clothing I continue to have difficulty with however are bras. Bras cause difficulties for both my disabilities. I lack the necessary hand dexterity to actually put them on properly. Whoever invented the hook and eye system most commonly used as a bra fastening probably never has to use it and certainly didn’t have to use it one handed. I have also found that I find bra clasps against my skin to be extremely uncomfortable to the point that it impacts my ability to function socially. Yet there are so few alternatives for people with either hypersensitivity or limited dexterity. While adaptive bras so exist, they were absolutely not designed with fashion consciousness in mind. Silvert‘s has a small selection that include these,
Those two bras are pretty representative of what is marketed as adaptive bras. You can find similar products from other adaptive clothing retailers.
They are not the sort of bra that can be worn under a low cut top or even a tank top. They are also in no concievable way sexy. Pretty bras it seems are the sole domain of people with more dexterity than I have. It also just reinforces the idea that disabled people should not be sexy. The thing is, it doesn’t have to be this way. It is entirely possible to make a pretty (or at least more fashionable) accessible bra without resorting to frumpy. The problem is very few companies do. A while ago I was fortunate enough to find the Bonds Pull Over Bra (pictured below)
I bought three. They offer good support, have adjustable straps and look pretty much exactly like a normal bra you would find in a store. They also don’t have clasps of any kind so are easy to get on and are comfortable. They have also been discontinued and are no longer available. I’m not sure why, the Bond’s website was full of rave reviews for the product. So while you can’t get them anymore they do prove you can make a supportive pullover bra. I wish they would bring it back and that other lingerie retailers would start making similar products in different styles. Most other pullover styles are bralettes which have very little support. They worked okay for me in my younger days but I find I now need something a little sturdier. I am also finding that on an increasing basis even bralettes have back clasps.
While I wish mainstream retailers would make the effort to include accessible bras in their lines, because who doesn’t want easy comfortable bras. It’s not like they’re something that is worn all day everyday… oh wait.
So they would have consumer appeal outside the disability community. I also find it disappointing that clothing brands that are specifically marketing adaptive clothing seem to care so little for esthetic (it’s not just the bras believe me). As I have grown further away from my track suit wearing youth, I find myself less able and less willing to force myself into ambivalence about what I wear because there is so little created with people like me in mind. I no longer accept the visible otherness that being unable to wear trendy clothing or at least wearing the same few things repeatedly creates. I like to express myself through what I wear and I find it galling that I am limited now in what is considered an essential clothing item.
If anyone knows of some comfortable accessible bras that my hours of trawling google haven’t found, please share in the comments.