Influencer/YouTuber Mika Stauffer and her Husband Dissolve Adoption of their Disabled Son: A Disabled Adoptee’s Perspective

Content warnings for discussion of adoption, racism and child abuse

Image description: A white couple Myka and James Stauffer sit on a white bed while both wearing white shirts. Myka has dyed blonde hair and is wearing glasses, James has a beard and is bald
Image description: A white couple Myka and James Stauffer sit on a white bed while both wearing white shirts. Myka has dyed blonde hair and is wearing glasses, James has a beard and is bald

Mika Stauffer is a YouTuber and Instagram influencer. She has hundreds of thousands of followers and she has just revealed that she and her husband James have dissolved the adoption of their autistic son Huxley who they adopted from China.

This is a story that is steeped in racism that I am not best placed to talk about/ If you read this please also seek out commentary from transracial and transnational adoptees. They can best contextualize the impacts of the racism involved in this tragedy.

Transracial is an accepted term in the adoption community reffering to adopted children whose parents do not share the child’s race.

Huxley Stauffer is a transracial adoptee.

I myself am a disabled adoptee and I have experience with being the child that my parents did not expect and the consequences that I experienced as a result of that.

I tweeted about it yesterday.

While I was never “rehomed” (a term more appropriate when speaking about pets not children), my parents very much resented my disabilities.

My parents decided early on that they would not allow themselves to be inconvenienced by my cerebral palsy. So they decided that I just needed to grow out of it.

As growing out of brain damage was not a thing I could accomplish, I was punished for not living up to their expectations. Often if I needed help with something, I just had to accept that it wasn’t going to get done or I couldn’t have it. I could also expect to be lectured on how the situation was entirely my fault for not trying hard enough.

The abuse and neglect surrounding my physical limitations came primarily from my mother, though she taught the rest of the family to have the same unreasonable expectations of me. My father put me through daily psychological hell because I was undiagnosed autistic and I hated his form of “humour” which largely comprised getting into my space while miming violence and refusing to stop calling me hated knicknames or retelling heavily embellished stories twisted to humiliate me.

He drove me to tears on a nearly daily basis. This behaviour was also normalized in the family and it was always my fault for being upset by it.

One of the things he frequently brought up was a story he had heard second hand from a coworker. I had been going door to door selling Girl Guide cookies and knew that I was approaching the home of someone I knew. Rather understandably I chose to exploit this connection in order to sell cookies. I told him that I knew who he was and that he worked with my dad and that he should buy cookies. He bought cookies.

When he relayed this story to my dad at work, I’m certain he was just sharing a cute story involving his co-workers kid. He definitely didn’t know that I would be harassed with this story for years after.

My dad came home and gleefully retold this story in a sing songy voice, implying that I had behaved ridiculously. I burst into tears. Thus established as something that was guaranteed to get under my skin, my dad would chant “I know you and you know my dad” at me insistently as though this was the most ridiculous thing a 6 year selling cookies could ever do.

It was so ingrained as a hilarious and timeless story that even after my dad died my family kept doing it. One day we had that coworker to dinner and my mother dropped a sing song “I know you and you know my dad” into the conversation thinking this man was in on the joke. He stared atr her blankly until she awkwardly changed the subject.

To him it was just a long forgotten anecdote about a friend’s cute kid. However, for me it became something that resulted in decades of harassment.

I used to beg dad to stop harassing me. I tried talking to him about it like an adult but he was too convinced that I was the problem, I had to just get over it and learn to laugh.

Unsurprisingly years of psychological abuse eventually turned physically violent and at that point dad also threatened “I can send you back where you came from”.

It is important here to make clear that throughout my childhood I was constantly told everything was my fault. If I couldn’t figure out how to do something, I was lazy and not trying hard enough. If I complained about the ever present harassment that I experienced, I was told it was my own fault and if I stopped reacting to it, it would stop.

So being told that by a parent even an abusive one that I was still “other” and potentially disposable was devastating even as I was the victim of a physical assault.

One of the things that I find interesting (read: concerning) about the Mika Stauffer debacle aside from the fact that this child was used for views and financial gain before being effectively thrown away (which has been written about thoroughly elsewhere) is that there seems to be little focus on the role of James Stauffer, Myka’s husband.

Much of the ire is being directed at her while her husband is not being targeted with the same degree of censure.

So I just want to remind everyone that James Stauffer abandoned this child too. He would have been involved in the decisions.

The hell I lived through is not an isolated incident. It is the experience of far to many disabled children whether they are adopted or not. We need to hold the parents of disabled children to a higher standard based on outcomes for the child and not simply assume that “they are doing the best that they can”

How to Support Me and My Work

The outbreak of COVID-19 has created a lot of financial precarity for me, so I would really appreciate any assistance you are able to offer

Please if you are able help the most vulnerable in your communities by practicing social distancing responsibly and by not hoarding resources.

I personally am experiencing financial difficulties as a result of Covid-19 and would appreciate any assistance you can offer, even if it’s just to share this blog post.

If you are able please consider helping me financially during this time. My situation is quite precarious.

You can support me on Patreon

Become a Patron!

You can buy me a coffee

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Or send me money directly through Paypal

paypal.me/crippledscholar

Autism Awareness Month in the Time of Covid-19: Support Actually Autistic People…Seriously

Image Description: Photo of a blackboard that says "Support #ActuallyAutistic People" with a multicoloured infinity symbol at the bottom
Image Description: Photo of a blackboard that says “Support #ActuallyAutistic People” with a multicoloured infinity symbol at the bottom

Once again April is nearly upon us and along with it the baggage of Autism Awareness Month. Autistic people often dread April with it’s frequently dehumanizing rhetoric about us and a focus on Autism Charities that are often very unpopular with the people they claim to support. April often seems less about raising awareness for autistic people (whatever that actually means) and more a very pervasive fundraising campaign for Autism Organizations whose goals and actions are often in opposition to those of autistic people.

Autistic people exist, you are now aware, can we move on to acceptance and meaningful inclusion and support now?

Traditionally, April is full of people “Lighting It Up Blue” a campaign created by Autism org Autism Speaks. Puzzle piece imagery also abounds which is also largely associated with Autism Speaks but which has become so synonymous with autism that many organizations use it. It is a common feature in April Autism fundraising campaigns. I have seen puzzle piece pedicures which raised money for an organization that had no autistic representation in its governance.

Each year many autistic people protest the corporatization of autism initiatives. We protest the use of the puzzle piece to represent us as we believe it implies that we are broken and require putting back together. The negative associations of puzzle piece iconography has been backed up by research.

Autistic people tend to prefer the symbol of a rainbow infinity symbol which celebrates neurodiversity.

Image Description: Infinity symbol in a rainbow gradient
Image Description: Infinity symbol in a rainbow gradient

One of the most common issues of contention is the continued popularity and public support for Autism Speaks which is so unpopular in the autistic community that many consider it a hate group. We have been explaining why for years. There are many accounts by autistic people explaining their continued dislike of the world’s largest autism charity. There are even videos.

Yet, every year when an autistic person expresses dread of April and the inevitable inundation of Autism Speaks fundraising, we still get asked why?

This year is different though. This year we are heading into April in the middle of a global pandemic. This year might offer autistic people a brief reprieve from what many of us have renamed “Autism Bewareness Month”. It will be harder for organizations like Autism Speaks to roll out their huge campaigns in a world that is social distancing (something that autistic people are really good at by the way).

That does not mean that the world should look away from autistic people this April. This year is instead an opportunity to refocus on supporting autistic people more directly.

I know that I am not alone as an autistic person in experiencing a heightened state of financial anxiety as a result of social distancing. I also have a physical disability that adds nutritional anxiety as I cannot grocery shop on my own both because of physical barriers and that I am a higher risk for serious coronavirus infection.

Many of us might already be champions at social distancing but we are particularly at risk of extreme poverty and not being able to find the supports we need to get through this pandemic safely.

So this year I would ask that if you are able that you directly support autistic individuals and organizations that are run by and for autistic people.

You can support me by sending me money directly through paypal (I will include more ways to support me and my work at the end of this post).

You can also support autistic creator like Amythest Schaber (whose video can be viewed earlier in this post). Amythest is also an artist with a shop on Redbubble where they sell beautiful autism and disability inspired art.

Image description and art print of the word Neurovidersity in a rainbow gradient with sparks like neurological connections on a black background. It can be purchased here

There are also autistic authors who write beautiful autistic characters. I recommend On The Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis.

My friend and amazing writer Sarah Kurchak has a memoir coming out on April 2, and the book launch has been cancelled due to coronavirus but you can and should preorder her book I Overcame My Autism and all I Got was this Lousy Anxiety Disorder. Autistic comedian extraordinaire Hannah Gadsby is a fan.

Image description: Book cover for I 
overcame my Autism and all I got was this Lousy Anxiety Disorder. The title is shown at the top under an endorsement from Hannah Gadsby which reads "A treat to read, I'd recommend this book to anyone who struggles to connect to the world, even if you don't call that struggle Autism"  A head and shoulders shot of the author a white woman with pink hair with her head resting on her arm takes up the bottom of the cover.
Image description: Book cover for I
overcame my Autism and all I got was this Lousy Anxiety Disorder. The title is shown at the top under an endorsement from Hannah Gadsby which reads “A treat to read, I’d recommend this book to anyone who struggles to connect to the world, even if you don’t call that struggle Autism” A head and shoulders shot of the author a white woman with pink hair with her head resting on her arm takes up the bottom of the cover.

You should also go watch Gadsby’s phenomenal comedy special Nanette on Netflix.

These are just a few of the amazing autistic people you could be supporting and learning from this April. We are sheltering in place after all, what else are you going to do?

Aside from directly financially supporting autistic individuals, you can also support better autism organizations whose leadership is full of autistic voices and whose goals more clearly support the wellbeing of autistic people. Organizations like The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, The Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network, and Autistics 4 Autistics.

In the midst of the stress and fear that this pandemic has caused please don’t forget autistic people this April. Use the opportunity of the time afforded by social distancing to learn more about autistic people from autistic people rather than making a shallow visual show of support that benefits a charity more than the people who require the support.

Let’s get past autism awareness and move on to autism acceptance and inclusion.

How to Support Me and My Work

The outbreak of COVID-19 has created a lot of financial precarity for me, so I would really appreciate any assistance you are able to offer

Please if you are able help the most vulnerable in your communities by practicing social distancing responsibly and by not hoarding resources.

I personally am experiencing financial difficulties as a result of Covid-19 and would appreciate any assistance you can offer, even if it’s just to share this blog post.

If you are able please consider helping me financially during this time. My situation is quite precarious.

You can support me on Patreon

Become a Patron!

You can buy me a coffee

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Or send me money directly through Paypal

paypal.me/crippledscholar

March has Been a Bad Month for Disabled People

Image Description: Me, a pale blonde woman wearing a plaid dress and cream coloured sweater standing at a podium, reading names off of a list for the Disability Day of Mourning
Image Description: Me, a pale blonde woman wearing a plaid dress and cream coloured sweater standing at a podium, reading names off of a list for the Disability Day of Mourning

On Sunday March 1, I attended the Disability Day of Mourning Service which commemorates the disabled people who have been murdered by parents or caregivers. Attending this year has taken on further meaning as the world grapples with the pandemic of the novel corona virus. Much of the world is in turmoil right now and far to often disabled people are bearing the brunt of negative experiences and expectations.

The virus has gotten so bad that the entire country of Italy is in lock down. The number of people experiencing severe symptoms exceeds the Italian healthcare system’s capacity to effectively treat them all. The country has had to start implementing catastrophe triage. Essentially choosing who will have a chance to live and who will almost certainly die.

Those most at risk of death or serious symptoms are unsurprisingly disabled people, people with compromised immune systems, and the elderly. We are facing a period of human history where many people may die and that the most like casualties will be marginalized people. Catastrophe triage will not act kindly for us. If it comes to that.

Illness is not however, the only serious risk to disabled people at this time. With the instruction to move indoors and to practice social distancing. Many otherwise healthy and able people are turning to delivery services to obtain essentials, while others are participating in panic buying which limits availability of necessary items.

Disabled people often rely on delivery services and our access to them is being seriously curtailed. I am at risk for serious food insecurity for the first time in my life and it is because predominantly healthy and able people are dominating services that I and other disabled people rely on.

I managed to get a delivery window for this evening. It has already been postponed to even later. I don’t know what portion if any of my order will actually show up at my door.

During a time that is already very tense for disabled people, we have also been informed that the man responsible for the Sagamihara Massacre has been sentenced to death.

I am at a loss about how to feel about this. I oppose the death penalty personally. I am trying to decide if I can be glad that his actions were so severely condemned while being uncomfortable with the actual punishment he received.

I can only be hoped that his victims (most of whom have still not been named publicly) and their families can find some peace.

This month started off with the Disability day of Mourning which was a sharp reminder of the extreme loss we experience in the disabled community at the hands of people who are supposed to comfort and care for us. Each day of remembrance includes the reading of the names of the dead. This is an endeavor that can take nearly an hour or more.

I started this month remembering those that we have lost already only to suddenly find myself in a world where disabled and vulnerable people are out at higher risk and that our overall survival may be based on the harsh realities of catastrophe medicine. Now we are also forced to relive the horror of the 19 murders that took place in the Tsukui Yamayuri En (Tsukui Lily Garden) facility.

This has been a hard month and it isn’t even over yet.

Please if you are able help the most vulnerable in your communities by practicing social distancing responsibly and by not hoarding resources.

I personally am experiencing financial difficulties as a result of Covid-19 and would appreciate any assistance you can offer, even if it’s just to share this blog post.

If you are able please consider helping me financially during this time. My situation is quite precarious.

You can support me on Patreon

Become a Patron!

You can buy me a coffee

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Or send me money directly through Paypal

paypal.me/crippledscholar

All the ways You Can Support Me Completing My PhD in Critical Disability Studies

Image Description: A white woman with blond hair and glasses is smiling at the camera while wearing a white button down oxford shirt under a green cardigan
Image Description: A white woman with blond hair and glasses is smiling at the camera while wearing a white button down oxford shirt under a green cardigan

Don’t I look scholarly? Don’t actually answer that it’s a purely subjective question. As you may or may not know (depending on if this is your first time here) I am currently in year 5 of my PhD and it’s time to get this show on the road. I still have a few requirements that I need to meet called comprehensive exams before I can start on my dissertation properly.

I am forever a PhD student and never a PhD candidate (you aren’t a candidate until you are in dissertation phase)

My future dissertation is tentatively titled “We Still Hide Mad Women in the Attic: An autoethnographic study of how disabled/mad women are treated when I try to take public space.

The dissertation will be an in depth autobiography of my life largely lived in both socially curated and physically forced isolation. My story will be juxtaposed with the real life stories of the mad women history hid away n attics or asylums. The story of hidden disabled and mad women now and in history would not be complete without an understanding of the mad woman in culture. Am I my own person or am I little more than Bertha Rochester raving in her attic for the sole purpose of creating the moral conundrum “is it wrong to cheat on one’s mentally ill wife” (the answer is yes by the way).

In order to complete this research I am going to need to do a lot of reading (of course). My preference for reading academically is to use kindle books on a iPad because it makes taking and organizing notes simple There are, however, a number of books that cannot be had in kindle format. To that end I have created an amazon wish list specific to the books that cannot be gotten in kindle format (I may add more later). That list is

Books I need for my book audit comprehensive exam that cannot be bought for kindle

I have created a similar list for my dissertation at large but the time frame for that isn’t as pressing

Dissertation Books not to found on Kindle

Unfortunately, ebooks are themselves not free and while the selection of academic books now available for kindle is growing but so is the price of ebooks. If you would like to help with my real book fund. You can send me an Amazon Gift Card to

kimberleyjanephd@gmail.com

(this is not my personal email, I will not be answering queries through it. Find me on Twitter if you want to talk)

You can also support me directly financially in a number of ways.

You can sponsor me for a monthly amount on patreon

If you are only able to make a one time contribution you can transfer money to my paypal

If you enjoy a little whimsy with you direct giving you can buy me a coffee (contributions must be in multiples of three uses paypal)

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

If you prefer to buy me something that would improve my quality of life

I have a disability accessibility wish list too

If the idea of using a third party site makes you uncomfortable, you can also send me an interac e money transfer direct from your bank account to the email,

kimberleyjanephd@gmail.com

All items and monies received will be used directly to fund my PhD, maintain the running of this blog and cover living expenses (can’t get a PhD if you are homeless and have no food).

If you cannot support me financially but still want to help, share this post widely. Share my other work widely (I get a tiny bit of ad revenue)

As always thank you for your support, I can’t wait to get into the meat of this dissertation. The stories of disabled people are important and far to often not told or worse, told by someone else.

Guest Post: The Unwritten Dress Code For Service Dogs at Graduation

 

image1

Image Description: A golden retriever in a work harness wearing a graduation cap with a black and white tassel.

 

Graduation season is again upon us, which means students across the US and Canada are donning their graduation regalia and marching across the stage. It is also the time of year local news agencies around the country start reporting on the adorable service dogs that are also prancing along the stage with their handlers. If a local news agency is picking the story up, there’s a good chance the service dog was wearing a cap and gown as well.

With the current graduation style trend incorporating decorated hats, and other colorful accessories, it’s easy to brush this parallel trend under the umbrella of fashion and the euphoria of the day. However, there are differences between how abled-bodied students choose to express themselves, and how the handlers of these service dogs are treated.

People frequently anthropomorphize animals. Dogs do not seek personal gratification through earning honorary degrees, nor do they understand or care about public displays of adoration. Service dogs work because they enjoy it, because they get to hang out with their handlers all day, and because of perks like getting showered with love when they do a good job. Yet every year dogs across the country are given honorary degrees.

These degrees are handed out not for the sake of the student or their accompanying service animal, because it certainly does not reflect either the student’s academic prowess nor how the dog perceives affection. No, it is instead a phenomenal opportunity for universities to get showered with praise for being so welcoming to students with disabilities, and is free advertising. In effect, it is a publicity stunt intended to serve the needs of the higher education institution. Perhaps it also serves to get donations to the progressive school who supported their student with the service dog.

The scheme does little to showcase how accommodating schools are to their students with disabilities. No one is going to pat the university on the back and tell them how amazing they are for having their staff spend weeks before school is even in session sitting at a scanner working on making materials accessible for students. But you can bet someone is going to hand over a fistful of cash when they see an adorable dog on stage receiving an honorary degree.

With the amount of pressure being put on grads to put their service dogs miniature regalia, you would think that there was some kind of dress code we’re all unaware of. When I told staff that I was just going to put a few flowers and ribbon in the university colors on O’Hara’s harness, it was met with serious disappointment. Staff tried to convince me how adorable it would be to have her in a little outfit. Service dogs don’t exist to add an entertaining cute factor to university sponsored events—or any event. O’Hara’s role that night was to do what she does every day. To guide me safely around obstacles, and keep me safe. Given the extra distractions of a loud audience, unfamiliar environments, the stopping repeatedly, and other strange going-ons, O’Hara didn’t need to be worried about wearing a cap and gown when I needed her to worry about where the microphone cord was, and making sure I didn’t faceplant.

The graduation of service dog handlers from universities does not mean it’s open season for publicity stunts for those universities, or regalia companies, or anyone else. Service dogs are not an excuse to exploit them to increase the cute factor for entertainment, or for inspiration. Pressuring handlers into putting regalia on their dogs is not acceptable, and they don’t owe you the chance to see a charming dog all dressed up. In fact, the only thing handlers and their dogs owe to anyone, is respect for the other half of their service dog team. I happily chose to dress up O’Hara’s harness with ribbons and flowers. It was simple, understated, and did not disrupt her work. Nor did it play directly into hands of a publicity stunt. More importantly, it was an artistic expression of self, which was exactly what all the other students were doing with their own adornments. O’Hara did more than look pretty in regalia that day, she did her job with poise, and served me with all the dignity her training called for. That is something that cannot be represented in regalia.

 

Author bio:

Kit is a freelance writer and public speaker working toward the inclusion of people with disabilities in STEM fields. She currently runs Femme de Chem a source for science, disability, and geek news that is 100% accessible.

 

Looking Back at #CrippingTheMighty

It has been eleven days since The Mighty post that inspired #CrippingTheMighty. A lot of good has come out of the hashtag. I have been exposed to new activist voices. My post on my initial take on the situation was shared widely on twitter and Facebook. It was even referenced by one of my favourite activist writers s.e. smith (so I had a little fangirl moment).

Ultimately, I think the most positive thing that came out of #CrippingTheMighty was the connections made between activists and the creation of a space (however shortlived) to air our grievances. I continue to believe as I did when I initially wrote about #CrippingTheMighty, that The Mighty is not going to change. In fact my interactions with the hashtag have only reinforced this belief.

If you go through the hashtag, you will find that The Mighty never interacts with disabled activists in any real public way, beyond systematically following every person who participated in #CrippingTheMighty on twitter.

Though they did publicly apologize for the particular offending post (a bingo game mocking autism meltdowns), they fail to understand how that post was not the only problem but rather just the tipping point. They did pay lip service to the fact that there has been push-back about their content from the disability community. In a later post they asked us to be part of a “conversation“. This conversation they propose is simply writing to their general feedback e-mail. I have no faith that they will listen to any of the people who in good faith wrote to them with honest feedback about necessary changes. The conversation The Mighty is willing to have is private where they can control the outcome. There is no accountability about what feedback they receive and why they did or more likely did not choose to act on it.

When The Mighty proposed that conversation, a conversation was already going on in full force on Twitter. The Mighty chose not to engage with us in that public forum. I’ll acknowledge that Twitter isn’t the greatest place for in depth discussions of the systemic issues within the Mighty but it would have been a start. There are also other forums not limited to 140 characters which would allow for a more open and accountable discourse.

The Mighty is however only interested in paying lip service to accountability. This is because as I said in my previous post, The Mighty despite its stated aims (helping disabled people) is really a safe space for parents of disabled children and avid consumers of inspiration porn. Changing the site to be in line with actually helping disabled people would alienate its largest reader base.

Further as s.e. smith points out, The Mighty has deep pockets and that funding would absolutely dry up if they ended their click-bait model. They would no longer have Venture Capitalists throwing money at them and their ad revenue would be less.

The people who most often frequenting The Mighty do not want to learn about disability, they want to have their preconceived notions confirmed. Disabled people who have ventured into the comment sections on The Mighty have found themselves attacked. If they point out ableism they are told to be forgiving and to understand that people just don’t know any better, if they are not dismissed outright. These people don’t want to learn, they hold up their ignorance as a shield.

These people are also not internet trolls. They are not arguing for its own sake or to harass, they do it out of a genuine sense of righteousness. They either believe that we are wrong or expect to much change to fast.

This does not account for everyone who visits The Mighty. One disabled writer for The Mighty did experience positive feedback from some of the nondisabled writers. She however details a lot of push-back from many others. Another disabled writer for the site felt so attacked by the nondisabled writers that they had to leave The Mighty’s private Facebook group for writers.

I feels like the progress made from within The Mighty is often one at a time while thousands stream past unaffected by internal activism. Which is not to say that changing individuals minds is not powerful and necessary. People who choose to try and change from within must be ready to expect more failures than successes.

In the sea of inspiration and pity porn that is The Mighty, those stories that stand out as positive, accurate portrayals of disability, by disabled people, end up being read and reinterpreted by The Mighty’s predominantly nondisabled readership as being the inspiration, those authors often actively fight against being.

I have said before that in the eyes of the media, disability is imaginary. It is a state to be defined and understood by people who do not personally experience it. You see this phenomenon at every level of media from fictional film and television to supposed news media.

The framing around disability in the media is wrong and harmful and within that framework even those pieces which seek to challenge the status quo can be assimilated into the very worldview they challenge.

People who write progressive pieces for The Mighty run the risk of being “SuperCripped” being placed on pedestals as individual examples of success rather than voices that actually echo the opinions and needs of the many. This is reinforced by just how few positive representations of disability exist on The Mighty.

The Mighty defends this false balance by arguing that everyone should have a say. Though why parents get more of a say than actual disabled people is not clearly articulated.

People have said that they would be ok with The Mighty if it just owned up to its parent focused, pity and inspiration porn peddling ways, rather than continue to claim an advocacy role for disabled people but this to is dangerous. Even if they did change their stated aims, they would still command a lot of traffic. Peddling their harmful representations but being able to more clearly deflect criticism from disabled people because, they could more honestly say “This isn’t about you”.

During my time reading posts under #CrippingTheMighty, I saw at least two tweets where individuals either contemplated or attempted suicide as a result of feeling like burdens to their families. In these cases heavily trafficked blogs were not involved. To have a celebrated archive of hugely popular parental self-pity is dangerous. Which is why though I continue to believe that The Mighty can’t be saved, it must still be actively criticized.

That is not to say that parents don’t have a right to feel stressed or want to seek out support. I just want to dispel the lie that framing your child as a tragedy and oversharing their personal information in a very public forum is in any way helpful. Parents who genuinely just want support and a place to vent should look for a less public venue. Otherwise I will just assume that they are nothing more than attention seeking assholes.

The Mighty writer Carly Findlay, describes the climate of the private writers’ Facebook page as one where those who don’t want to hear our arguments just want the situation to blow over. The problem is that it will and probably already has. Tweeting on the hashtag was only strong for about three days. In some ways The Mighty was lucky that shit hit the fan so close to a major holiday. The tweeting tailed off considerably Christmas Eve and is now comprised primarily of people resharing previously shared pieces.

The Mighty chose to ride out the storm, they payed lip service to our concerns but did not really publicly engage with any of them. Saving themselves from any sort of public accountability while giving the impression that they might do something about the issues but making no promises.

The Mighty will continue on as before and little if anything will change there.

I do hope that people will continue to use #CrippingTheMighty as a tool of dissent and hopefully future protests can be more organized so at least the worst content can be removed quickly.

I also hope to keep engaging with the great new connections, I have made with other disabled activists.

#Cripping The Mighty Roundup (share anything I miss in the comments)

Two Ethical Futures for The Mighty by David M. Perry

Run Down of #CrippingTheMighty by Savannah Logsdon-Breakstone

Some Real Talk About The Mighty by s.e. smith

If you Like It You Shoulda Put a Paycheck On It by Autistic Academic

My E-mail to The Mighty by Ultimate Oddball

Website “The Mighty” Faces Intense Criticism From Disabled Adults by Nancy Jobes

The Mighty is Part of a Long Tradition of Inspiration Porn by Blind Yanqui

We Liked It, So We Put a Paycheck On It by Autonomous Press

Open Letter to The Mighty by Un-Boxed Brain

Thoughts on #CrippingTheMighty

I became aware of #CrippingTheMighty yesterday when a friend mentioned me in a tweet.

Now I have been aware of The Mighty for a long time. I have been uncomfortable with it for about the same length of time.

The Mighty is ostensibly a site about disability. Their tagline is,

Real people. Real stories.: We face disability, disease and mental illness together.

The problem with The Mighty is that the “real people” whose “real stories” are being told are predominantly not disabled. They are the stories of parents or care givers. They are stories about disability, far to often told from outside of it. As a result far to many of the stories fall into the trap of inspiration porn or even worse parental self-pity.

They are pretty unapologetic about this, consider this quote attributed to their editor.

Despite selling itself as a site which celebrates the stories of disabled people, it is also a space where we are centred very squarely as the “other”.

That is not to say that they never publish stories by actual disabled people. Most of which appear in stark contrast to the rest of the site as they deviate so sharply from the dominant messages the site puts forward.

Issues arise even in disability lead stories in a couple of ways. First writers are never paid so they are expected to either create content or share content for free.

Secondly, The Mighty has been known to insist on edits that change the tone of the piece or deny the way a writer self-identifies. To the point where some have pulled their permission.

It is not just disabled writers for the site who have issues. Others avoid it entirely or at least heavily critique it.

So back to #CrippingTheMighty which is a conversation about trying to shift the focus of the site. I have to admit to a certain amount of pessimism. I do not see the site editor making the seriously needed systemic changes to keep the site from doing more harm than good.

First you have the nondisabled editor who seems quite happy with the self-pity and inspiration porn that make up the majority of the site.

Secondly, you have to contend with the people who visit the site, the people who are drawn in by the camaraderie of self-pity and feel good inspo-porn.

Just go look at the comment sections on articles that challenge preconceived ideas and bigoted actions. The readers of the Mighty are more than happy to defend prejudice.

The Mighty is a safe space for those ideas. Those who regularly read The Mighty are unlikely to take well to being cut off from their self-pity play group and inspiration porn. While I have little sympathy for them, The Mighty is unlikely to take any action that is going to infuriate or alienate the vast majority of their readership. They don’t want to build a more enlightened reader base, they would rather cultivate the ignorant base they already have.

Let’s face it disabled activists’ positive contact with The Mighty is through those rare disability lead articles. Apart from that, the relationship is and has been adversarial for a long time. The Mighty does not want to listen.

So while, I appreciate being considered a positive voice for the disabled community, I think #CrippingTheMighty serves better as a tool to publicly criticize the site (and dissent is a powerful tool of education), rather than a viable way to change it.

As it currently stands, I would be deeply uncomfortable having my writing featured on the site, surrounded by so much content that makes me cringe.

I think a better option is to continue critiquing The Mighty (to hold it accountable), but rather than banking on changing it, creating an alternative. A Website truly lead by disabled voices which could more accurately show the reality and the diversity from within the disabled community.